5 Things I Swore I Would NEVER do . . . That I Do

Before I was a mom, I was a terrific parent. I knew all the answers and knew every rule that I was going to have as a mom. Then I had a daughter and some of those rules slipped away. Then I had a son, and even more slipped away. By the time I had my third child, I learned that rules were meant to be broken. That there is value in going with the flow! So this is my list of things I said I would never do . . . that I do.

  1. My children will NEVER watch television, especially anything with ANY violence. This was a big one for me. I swore up and down that my kids would not watch TV. As an intellectual, I know the dangers of too much television. As a full-time working mom of three children, I have learned that television sometimes happens. More often than I would like some days. And on some days my nine year old watches a superhero show and her little brother watches with her. Because they like superhero shows.
  2. I would NEVER yell at my kids. I must admit, I was VERY good about not losing my temper . . . right up until I had my third child, and my oldest turned 8. Both things happened the same year, and I learned that sometimes even mom loses her cool. You know what else I have learned, that my kids have learned the value of losing your cool, regaining composure, apologizing to the people you love, and moving on.
  3. I would NEVER let my kids have candy. I am sure most of you find this hilarious, but with my first child we were able to keep this up for quite a while. Right up until she actually went to school. Even then, we tried to control it. But now that my children are out and about all the time, they sometimes have candy. Not a lot. And from that, they have learned that you can have candy as a special treat in moderation. They still prefer fruits and vegetables :)
  4. Speaking of fruits and vegetables . . . I would NEVER make more than one meal. I used to think those moms that made multiple meals were crazy! Just make your child eat it! And I was blessed with one stubborn, picky eating little boy. And when I say stubborn, he would rather go without dinner for 5 days in a row than eat anything he does not like. So, I learned to compromise with him . . . for now. :)
  5. I would NEVER let my child have a cell phone. Last year, I bought my 9 year old a cell phone. That is right . . . I will repeat it: I bought my 9 year old a cell phone. I am sure that some of you audibly gasped, and some of you nodded your heads. She is only allowed to call her mom, dad, and nana. And it is more for our benefit than hers. She is in a lot of activities and we had more than one occasion when something ran late, got out early, or she needed something at one of her many events. It made life easier, and she has learned responsibility. 

5 things I said I would do that I do. 

  1. Tell my kids I love them, multiple times, every day. I never stop. Every chance I get I tell them. I do not care if they think they hear it enough. I want the script that they play in their heads throughout their day and throughout their lives to be, "I am loved."
  2. We laugh. A lot.
  3. I allow fun to happen. I allow forts in the living room, paint in my dining room, and general chaos to ensue. My children are finding themselves . . . defined by them, and not others.
  4. Family comes first. I have to remind myself of this one, A LOT. My job often requires a lot of me, and it can be easy to slip into focusing on work, but they always come first. And in that, they learn that our family as a unit is the most important thing. I tell my kids all of the time, if we are together, we can accomplish anything.
  5. We eat dinner together. EVERY NIGHT. This is not something that is even debated. It does not matter what is happening in our lives. We have dinner together. Always. It is our connection time. 

16 comments:

  1. I went through the same struggles as a mom and relented to just make sure they feel loved, accepted, included and yes, loved again. Lovely post <3

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  2. Completely agree on going with the flow. I'm on my first, and I have to remind myself that he IS his own little person. I want that person to develop into himself, not force my own beliefs on him.

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    1. I could not agree with you more. I want my kids to be THEM, not who someone tells them to be.

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  3. I member saying my oldest would not have candy, and now she does! I agree with the cell phone to, your 9 yr old should deff have one!

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    1. It just became a necessity for us, and it makes things so much easier for me.

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  4. love these thanks for sharing:) There are too many things I said I wouldnt do that I do now.

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  5. Besides the Cell Phone I'm right there with you. We teach our kids that when they see something on TV that is in appropriate or they think is a moral question to come and let us know. We talk about it. We also watch any new series or movies together so we know what they are watching at home.

    http://www.thesavingswife.com

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    1. I should have added that we do NOT have cable or even local channels. The kids are only allowed to watch things they can find under Netflix kids, and even then need to ask permission for the content.

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  6. LOVE this post! We laugh a lot , too!

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  7. I'm especially with you on number two. I always said I'd never yell like my mom was prone to doing.

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  8. I firmly believe that every expecting parent should make the "I'll never" list and see how well they actually stick to it. I did. And I'm glad.

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  9. haha, great list! I know I recently was thinking about my parenting now and how I started. I have made a lot of changes and evolving into the mom I am today. Cute post!

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  10. What a funny list! I'm sure everything goes out the window after a kid comes along- especially 3!

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  11. I LOve this article!! So oftern people try to act like they are some kinda super star! I love that your showing your personality! I wish more bloggers would follow your lead!

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